Scripts

All else held equal, we have crafted THE ONCE AND FUTURE NERD to be most immersive as an audio experience. (There are options for listening on all major platforms, as detailed here.) But, seeing as media consumption is never one-size-fits-all, we want text options to be freely available for anyone who prefers them – for any reason!

See below for our back catalog of scripts. (Starting April 23, 2017, scripts for every new episode will be linked directly in the episode post.)

Note: We officially certify these scripts as being…nearly perfectly accurate. These are the scripts we record with. Every once in awhile, there may be a last minute ad lib or a line changed in the edit. In the case of any such discrepancies, the audio is canon. If these changes are ever substantial to understanding the story, we will do our best to flag it when we post the script. In any case, if you only read the scripts you will still be perfectly well-equipped to discuss our story with other fans.

Book 1 – Princes of Iorden

Chapter 1 – The Prince of Iorden

Content Notes: Part 4 contains a description of domestic violence.

Chapter 2 – Life In A Corner

Chapter 3 – A Little Blood

Content Notes: Part 1 contains a survivor’s account of incest and sexual assault.

Chapter 4 – Monsters

Chapter 5 – The Worthiest Knight

Chapter 6 – The Singing Sister

Content Notes: Part 3 describes a sexual assault victim being forced to confront her attacker, and also mentions a separate instance of bodily mutilation; Part 4 describes the mutilated person’s reaction.

Chapter 7 – The Last Douchey Domicile

Content Notes: Part 2 describes a particularly gruesome death; Part 4 contains a survivor’s account of childhood sexual abuse.

Chapter 8 – Evil Untold

Chapter 9 – Darkness On The Edge Of Town

Content Notes: Part 3 describes domestic abuse, including slurs and threatened and actual violence.

Chapter 10 – The Evening Redness In The West

Content Notes: Part 4 describes large-scale military violence against civilians.

Book 2 – Myth Made Flesh

Chapter 1 – A Cruel And Sullied World

Content Notes: Part 1 flashes back to the military violence described above; Part 4 verbally recounts the same, and also plays bodily mutilation for laughs and features a character briefly talking flippantly about suicide.

All subsequent scripts will be linked directly in the episode posts. Please refer to our Episode Guide for links to every episode.